Explosive
by quinnalyn
Summary: Mello/Near ANGST. Nothing but ANGST. And Mels being a general douche after goin' all kamikaze. Oneshit. T for terribleneedsseriousediting.


Mello tried his best to keep his composure, though his heart was frantically leaping in his chest. The sound of gunshots faded as Yagami dropped to the floor in a motionless heap and Mello breathed a sigh of relief. Without warning, the rest of Yagami's men burst into the room, making him jump. _Shit!_ He thought. _I have no choice…_ "It's all or nothing!" he shouted and his finger slammed down on the detonator button in his hand. Everything was a whirl of light and sound as Mello was hurled into the air amongst chunks of his previous hideout. It took a while for the pain to hit him, but when it did, it seized him and would not let him go. It felt like he was on fire. Mello laughed, because he knew he was, he could see the flame leaping around him. Something flew through the fire towards him. It landed on his left arm with a crunch and Mello cried out in pain, spiraling into darkness broken only by white, searing pinpricks of light. His vision blurred and everything went black.

* * *

The first thing Mello noticed about being dead was the toys. There were small action figures, blocks, dice, models, train sets and various games scattered everywhere. He sat up slowly, surveying his surroundings. He looked down at himself and noticed that his entire left side was covered in bandages. _So you keep your injuries in heaven._ He smiled slowly. He wouldn't have gone to heaven. Mello stood up and yelped in pain. He fell back onto the bed he'd been laying in, clutching his foot. A steel jack protruded from a small puncture wound, his blood creating a lustrous shine on its silvery surface. He pulled it out and looked around again. A young teenager stood watching him, one he had seen many times before. Mello's automatic reaction was to let out his pain in words "Near, pick up your toys!" he shouted. Then he realized who he was talking to. "Near?" he said softly.

"Yes." said the silver haired boy before him. He looked down at himself as if to check. Mello snorted. "Still the same, I see. I'm glad you survived." Near said in his quiet, even voice, smiling at the blonde before him.

"So am I." Mello replied, remembering the reason for his bandages. "Dammit, I almost had him, Near! I was so close to catching Kira!" He slammed his fist down on his leg and winced. Near stepped forward, a look of concern on his face. "It's okay. How bad am I hurt?"

"Your left side is pretty badly burned, and your wrist was pinned under a boulder. I'm putting it in a cast right now." Near said, pulling some medical supplies from a drawer in the bedside table.

"You shouldn't have saved me." Mello said, his independent self mad at needing Near's help. Near looked at him in confusion. "I hate you." Mello said in a reasoning tone. Near lowered his eyes. _God, he's sensitive._ "You were always just a bit better than me at everything, you had higher marks, you were more liked, it was YOU, not me, who succeeded L."

"True…" Near said, looking injured.

"And we're on opposite sides of the Kira case. I'm a criminal. If I get caught, it's death for me." Near winced. "Yeah, you know it as well as I do. And you're even helping the authorities get to me."

"That's not true." Near whispered, his hands trembling as he took off the splint on Mello's arm. Mello grimaced. "Sorry."

"Don't make me laugh. You and the SPK have given up almost all efforts to find Kira in order to track me down." Mello said bitterly. It was obvious that this fact annoyed him at the least.

"That's not it, Mello." Near said, "after you disappeared, I…" he fell silent.

"You wanted to find me so bad that you used your standing in the SPK to get them to track me, all for your personal benefit?" He asked somewhat sarcastically.

"Yeah. Pretty Much." The smaller boy said as he finished the cast. "I missed you. I couldn't focus on anything. I knew from the start the kidnappings were your doing, and I feared for you."

"What were you going to do once you got me? Give me a lollipop and send me on my way? You would have been forced to turn me in and you would have, too." Mello spat out the words like am accusation, it was more painful than any wound when he had to part ways with Near.

"I actually would have replaced you with an ordinary criminal and helped you in secret." Mello looked around nervously at this. "There aren't any cameras; this is my own private room." Near said. Mello relaxed.

"So how did you find me?" he asked.

"I was watching the explosion and searched the rubble for you as soon as it was safe. I can't believe your attackers would blow themselves up in order to kill you." Near said, picking up a model jet and flying it around his head.

"YOU?" Mello asked, more than a bit shocked. "YOU trekked through smoldering rubble just to find me? I'm surprised you even left your hidey hole." _Damn, he's more determined than he looks…_ Mello decided not to tell Near that it was the other way around quite yet. "Why? It can't have just been to reminisce about our childhood."

"Yeah. I got Matt to help, though..." Near said. "You know why I did it. And you're glad I did." Mello looked at him with false confusion. "I love you, Mello. And not just as a friend and brother. Have you forgotten about us?"

"Oh, sorry, I must have hit my head." Mello grinned, he was glad that Near still loved him. Near's face lit up and he threw himself around Mello's neck. Mello winced and Near loosened his grip. Mello slid his hand around the back of Near's neck and drew him closer. They kissed, softly at first, to see if they still knew each other, then more passionately. Mello pushed the boy onto the bed and laid his body on top of his. Near let out a shuddering sigh as the air was forced from his lungs. Mello forced his tongue in between the other male's slightly parted lips and ran his fingers through Near's silver hair. He seemed to be enjoying it, but Mello noticed that he was also crying. He smiled and rolled his bandaged body gently off of Near's small frame, holding his now curled up body in his arms. "I'm sorry." Mello whispered in Near's ear, his lips brushing the smaller boy's neck.

"It's not that." Near said quietly. "I just thought I'd lost you, that's all." Mello pulled him closer.

"Me too." He found a lump forming in his throat and forced it down. He would not cry.

There was a quiet knock at the door. "Near?" said a woman's voice, Hal Linder's voice.

"Come in." Near said, climbing out of Mello's embrace to sit on the floor amidst a miniature model of L.A. The blonde woman walked in. "Hello Linder." He said formally.

"Hey Hal," Mello casually greeted her.

She answered with a curt "I thought you were dead." Mello laughed.

"You know each other?" Near asked.

"Yeah," Mello said. "She's the one giving me information on your progress."

"Oh. I assumed that, but thought it best to ask you later." Near said, casually dismissing the knowledge of a spy in his midst. But Mello knew him better than that. He could tell by the way he twirled his silver hair between his fingers that Near's brain was working overtime right now. Hal better watch her step. "What is it Linder?" he asked, turning to Hal.

"The others have started arriving and I wanted to make sure you were awake." She replied. "I wasn't expecting to find you here." she indicated Mello. "What did you do?"

"The were onto me, so I blew myself up." He said.

"YOU DID THAT?!" Near shouted, jumping to his feet. "You maniac, you could have died!!!"

"It would have been better than rotting in jail while Kira continued to kill." Mello replied calmly.

"You let your emotions take too much control over you, Mello." Near said quietly and smiled.

"So I've been told." The blonde man said as he watched Near walk out of the room. Surprisingly, Mello felt glad to be in the care of this childish, over-protective genius. Slowly, he stood up and walked to the mirror in the corner. He unwrapped the bandages from his chest, examining the damage methodically. "Not too bad." He said to himself after a while.

Mello picked up a cell phone that was sitting by a bottle of painkillers and called Matt. "Hello?" Matt's voice came through the phone.

"Hey. It's me." Mello said, picking out one of Near's shirt's from his closet and sliding it over his head.

"Mello! You're okay!" Matt sounded overjoyed.

"You helped rescue me, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but you were unconscious and Near hasn't let me in to see you yet." Mello could hear the sounds of a videogame over Matt's voice and knew the redhead was probably sitting cross-legged on the floor of a dark room, a cigarette smoldering in the corner of his mouth, both hands occupied with one of his many controllers. As if to prove this theory, Matt began shouting over the phone: "Die you stupid minions! Die! DIE!!!"

"Enjoying yourself?" Mello asked once Matt had settled down.

"Oh. Sorry," Matt said. "So... Wazzup?"

"Since my hideout is currently a pile of ash and rubble, can I crash with you?"

"What? Aren't you staying with Near?" Matt asked, the noises from his game coming to a halt.

"Yeah. But I need to get back to my investigation on Kira. When can you come pick me up?" Mello said, pushing Matt to answer.

"But I thought you and Near were..." his voice trailed off. "Won't he be pissed if you leave?"

"I don't think Near is capable of being pissed. He'd probably just get really depressed for a few days." _More like a few months._ He corrected himself mentally. Mello's heart panged. He wondered why he was being so cruel to his lover. _It's necessary. He can live without you._ Mello said to himself, trying to keep his guilt at bay. "Just meet me in an hour."

" 'Kay. If your sure..." Matt said.

Mello just sighed and hung up the phone. He re-bandaged his side before slipping silently into the hallway. He wound his way through the silent halls till he came upon a door ajar to his right. Through it he could see Near in a debate with one of his coworkers. "Goodbye..." he whispered and continued walking. It took all his will to keep himself moving forward. _You let your emotions take too much control over you, Mello._ Near's words echoed in Mello's head. _Not this time, Near. I'm sorry._

As he walked through the crowded streets of L.A., Mello felt numb. He imagined Near's face when he discovered him gone and the image played over and over in his mind like a broken record. He picked up some money from one of his associates in the Mafia and bought himself new clothes and an espresso.

As he sat on a bench, watching people go by and savoring the bitter coffee, Mello's thoughts wandered to Kira. He wondered what Near had discovered in the short time span since he'd left. _I should at least call him._ He thought. HE pulled out the phone he'd taken from Near's room and dialed the number. After three rings that seemed to Mello like eternity, he hung up and hastily stuffed the phone in his coat pocket. _Coward. Heart breaker. Bastard. _All of those were true and Mello hated it.

Just then, Matt drove up, honking and making Mello spill some of his coffee. He glared at the person in the car, but got in the passenger seat nonetheless. He stared out the window. Matt, noticing Mello's troubled look, said "You know you're breaking his heart, again, don't you?"

_That's really helpful, Matt. _Mello thought bitterly. "Just shut up and drive." He ordered and Matt shrugged, driving away. Mello looked down at his hands and the cast Near had clumsily placed on his arm. He noticed that his lover had drawn a simple smiley face and a heart on it with Sharpie and had to bite his tongue to keep from instructing Matt to stop the car and turn back.

* * *

~*~Absolutely LOVE this pairing! *eyes sparkle as only those of a devout fangirl can* I wish I could make it longer, but I'm brain dead and haven't been able to think of any way to continue this for the past 3 months, so I just gave it a sad and fairly crappy ending and uploaded it anyways. Please R&R!!!~*~

Disclaimer: If Death Note belonged to me, Misa would have blasted the hell out of Light with a machine gun the first chance she had and stood over his bloody, mutilated corpse, laughing maniacly.


End file.
